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I am both an introvert and an extrovert. I don’t think this is so unusual. We probably all have intro and extro versions of ourselves. It’s kind of like masculinity and femininity but with less chance of offending everyone.
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The issue for me is that my Intro and Extro are constantly fighting.
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My extrovert is constantly inserting himself into social situations in a chronically desperate scramble to be seen, and my introvert is mercilessly judging him for it.
Especially in the middle of the night.
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Growing up, my extrovert’s constant joking was the only way he could get in and out of conversations quickly enough to avoid being resented for taking attention from someone else. I get that. But it became so habitually ingrained that now he doesn’t know how to stop compulsively making jokes.
![](https://onecomicatatime.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/preist-joke-v2-1024x503.jpg)
Meanwhile, my introvert is so small “t” traumatized by garden variety developmental neglect–like not being picked up enough as an infant–that he lives in a perpetual state of hypervigilant shame, forever afraid of being socially insensitive or, in some other way, not likable or good enough. I feel bad for him.
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My introvert just wants to stay home where it’s safe, while my extrovert insists on going out. If there was any way to just let them go their own ways, I would, but it’s biologically impractical.
So, we’re all working on it in therapy. Every once in a while, there is a glimpse of progress and acceptance, and it feels like the union may have a chance.
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It never lasts. But I suppose it’s progress, not perfection…
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